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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284015">Heartspin</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowBlazer/pseuds/ShadowBlazer'>ShadowBlazer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heart [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternative Perspective, F/F, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:09:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowBlazer/pseuds/ShadowBlazer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Judy hates Night City, but she keeps giving it a chance in case the one reason she should stay comes along. Years pass, and she has yet to find it. Then, she meets V.</p><p>Now in Russian: <a href="https://ficbook.net/readfic/10413396">
here</a></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Judy Alvarez/Female V</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heart [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>725</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heartspin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is kind of an expansion on the romance path between Judy and V with some summarizing and slight revision of the canon scenes. Mostly, I just wrote it for myself to fill in the gaps that caught my attention, and I hope you guys enjoy it too. Warning: there are major spoilers for the Judy romance. Go play it first if you haven't already.</p><p>Thank you to Halifax for beta-reading as always.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The strange woman called V looks at Judy after their first braindance session together. “Thank you.”</p><p>Judy doesn’t respond, but she feels her body relaxing from the way V said it. Almost seems like she meant it. Maybe she has that effect on everyone she chooses to turn the charm on for. </p><p>When V turns to speak with Evelyn, Judy allows herself the pleasure of trailing her eyes down V’s form, noting the confident, almost cocky, set of her shoulders, the slight shift of her hips on the BD chair. V greets her professionally while Evelyn keeps a sharp eye on her, which doesn’t escape Judy. </p><p>Still, Judy couldn’t help but steal a few glances when V sat in the chair, rubbing a palm into her eye as if trying to smooth the braindance experience away. The merc ran a hand through her hair, the light above catching the slender curve of her jaw, the shape of her face. Her eyelashes were long and thick like dark fans upon her cheekbones. When she spoke, it was like sitting at a lounge, listening to the last good singer of a rock band crooning a love song that’s aimed directly at her. In her gaze, there was a sense of cunning, an intelligence that was almost wild, held back by the somewhat polished manners of a professional merc. And beyond that, there was something softer, almost childlike behind the bluster, the hedonism. </p><p>Most interesting of all was her reaction when using a braindance for the first time. Evelyn specifically requested a hard-hitting one to test how her new hire would respond, and Judy had to dig deep past the pile of smut she has yet to edit to fish out one where a guy got sold out and killed by his friend, just to make a video of his last moments. </p><p>When people first watch a BD as violent as the one Judy gave V, their reactions were either fight or flight. Some leapt out of the chair, arms swinging and shouting with spiking adrenaline levels and dilating pupils. Others screamed and tore off the BD headgear, refusing to return. V does neither, merely gulping for air and leaning forward to process what she saw, to refocus before she goes again. From the corner of her eye, Judy spots Evelyn giving an approving nod. Her merc has shown she can keep her head in times of stress. </p><p>Of course, Judy’s opinion of V takes a dive when she insists on bringing that outside netrunner, and it takes Evelyn’s reassurance to calm Judy down enough to let them proceed. As mad as the BD editor was in letting an unknown third party in her systems, she can’t help but let her eyes be drawn back to the merc in the chair, expression screwed up in furious concentration as she and T-Bug dig through clues faster than most of the NCPD at a crime scene. She’s competent, smart, charming when she wants to be, and incredibly intense.</p><p>And definitely Judy’s type. Doesn’t help that she’s attractive, and she knows it. </p><p>Judy wonders if Evelyn is aware of the effect a woman like that would have on her. She thinks she manages to hide it well by focusing on her job, but her gaze lingers after V when she leaves with Evelyn. Judy pays for this indiscretion when her friend returns, smirking and leaning against one side of the doorway. “She’s that cute, huh?”</p><p>Judy scoffs and ducks her head away, “Just another corpse that hasn’t realized it’s dead yet. A ticking time bomb.”</p><p>Evelyn clucks her tongue. “I don’t know about that. This one feels different. Dangerous, arrogant. Raspy, husky voice that would be like music you’d play over and over again in your bed. She could be yours if only for a night.”</p><p>Judy’s ears burn. “I’m picky with my girls. Ev, you know that. I don’t trust just any pretty thing that walks my way, and I especially don’t like mercs.” She thinks of V pausing to thank her, how sincere she seemed, the way the light catches the curve of her lips, the cat-like shape of her eyes. “Though, she’s not the worst I’ve seen.”</p><p>When Evelyn gives her a knowing smile, Judy bristles. “Get that stupid thought out of your head.”</p><p>“She...may not be bad for you.” If it weren't for their long friendship, Judy wouldn’t have picked up on the slight waver in Evelyn’s voice like the cracking of glass. “If you’re thinking about moving on.”</p><p>Judy snorts. “I’ve already moved on from Maiko.”</p><p>“I wasn’t talking about her.” Evelyn glances up. “And somehow I doubt that.”</p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p>“It’d be off-the-books if you did.” Evelyn smiles before turning to head out, leaving Judy uncertain if she is joking. “I’ll be back. Just got something to take care of.”</p><p>“I don’t like you going out. You should stay here.” Judy runs her hand through her hair. “You’ll be safer.”</p><p>Evelyn sighs, “I can’t keep using your charity all the time.”</p><p>“It’s not charity. It’s called friendship. You can rely on me, Ev,” Judy insists.</p><p>Evelyn’s eyes soften. “I know I can.” She pats Judy on the hand, but she turns away. “I can give you V’s number if you need it. I hear she does preem work.”</p><p>“No thanks. She’ll just be a dead woman walking soon.” Judy scoffs and returns her attention back to her screen. “Won’t matter to me one bit.” </p><p>A couple of days pass since V walks into her workplace with Evelyn, and the pair manages to coordinate a date and time quickly to set everything up if Judy’s eavesdropping is on point. Evelyn promises to take Judy away from Night City once she gets the payoff of the Relic—the target of their operation. Judy doubts Evelyn would, since she seems to be drawn to this city again and again like an addiction but she appreciates her friend thinking of her, who has always been thinking of her since the time she broke away from her crush on Maiko years ago.</p><p>On the day of the event. Evelyn paces around Judy’s workroom at Lizzie’s, glancing at her phone constantly while chewing on her lip. Any second now, she would hear from Dexter DeShawn, the fixer who connected Evelyn and the mercs, and they would all be getting paid enough to retire immediately from Night City and get as far away from this hellhole as possible.</p><p>DeShawn never calls.</p><p>The job becomes a disaster. </p><p>She and Evelyn watch on the news how the merc and her big friend massacres the security guards of Arasaka tower and how it was theorized that their target all along was the head of Arasaka Corporation: Saburo Arasaka, the Emperor and God of Night City corps. V’s face is obscured on the screen, but her buddy is later identified in a follow-up video as Jackie Welles. Both are confirmed as deceased, which isn’t surprising considering they had jumped through a glass ceiling, fought through several floors, and were last seen being shot at by drones. No one has heard of them or their fixer since.</p><p>“I gather that wasn’t supposed to happen. This is one hell of a fuck-up,” Judy mutters as she glances over at Evelyn whose lips are pressed tightly together. “Even I wouldn’t have wished that on these guys.” She looks back at the news, seeing the announcement of the two dead mercs, the blurred video of V’s face, and something in her stomach drops. </p><p>Evelyn announces a month after the failed heist that she’s going back to work at Clouds. “I can’t hide here forever.” She walks out, waving. “I’ll be fine. Promise. They’re looking for the people who hired Saburo Arasaka’s assassins, not me.” She flashes a grin. “See you, Jude.”</p><p>“Come back. You don’t know what kind of weirdo will be using you there, and I don’t blame you for doing anything you can to leave Clouds.” Judy trails after her. “I’m serious, Evelyn. You can’t beat the city. You’ve tried to take it on, and it won every single time. There’s nothing good about dying to make it big in Night City.”</p><p>Evelyn disagrees.</p><p>Judy insists on Evelyn staying as much as she could, but her friend could be surprisingly stubborn when the occasion arises. So much that they end up having a fight where Judy makes Evelyn promise to text her every day to prove that she’s safe. Evelyn reluctantly takes up the deal and sends Judy snippets of her day, getting more into it more as time goes on.</p><p>Until the day Evelyn stops. </p><p>That was a week ago.</p><p>Judy calls nearly once every hour, anxiety spiking up like something ragged and cold coiling through her nerves. “Come on, Ev. Answer. Goddammit, where are you?”</p><p>Her worry and fear fester, building up as Judy receives silence as an answer. She nearly jumps when her phone rings, and she snatches it from the desk, responding quickly when the  exhausted face of the dead merc pops up. “Hey, Judy.”</p><p>Somehow, V convinces her to meet up despite the latter’s apprehension, her insistence that she doesn’t want to talk about Evelyn. To pass the time, Judy gets chewed out by her boss Suzie, because Judy’s ideals and heart hurt the club’s bottom line. No money for wounded joytoys, for people down on their luck. By the time V wanders in, looking haggard, worn, like a car that’s been beaten up more than a few times, Judy is already snapping. “Where’s Evelyn Parker?”</p><p>Judy’s temper and fear boil to the surface. “Why? You’re just looking for a scapegoat to pin that screw-up of a heist on, aren’t you? Even got your buddy killed.”</p><p>The merc quickly inhales and glances down. “Jackie...that wasn’t part of the plan.” She clears her throat. “I need to talk to Evelyn about the Relic. Just want to know who she was working for.”</p><p>Judy pauses before deflating. “That’s it?”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t want to hurt Evelyn.” V shrugs. “No point.” </p><p>Judy eyes her suspiciously, but V seems open, straightforward. Tired as fuck but that’s expected. “I don’t know where she is. She’s been gone nearly as long as you have. Last I heard, she went back to Clouds.” Judy elaborates when V looks confused. “Her workplace.”</p><p>The merc...V looks at her. “I’m sorry to hear that Evelyn disappeared.” When Judy scoffs, V continues. “I know very well what it’s like to lose a friend.”</p><p>Judy diverts her gaze. She sits up, leaning forward so her expression couldn’t be seen. “Yeah, I—“ She exhales, feeling her fingers tremble and something crawling up her throat. “Just call me if you find out something about her. Please.”</p><p>V nods before leaving. “I will.” </p><p>Judy doubts that.</p><p>Still, something flutters inside of her at how earnestly V spoke, and she allows herself a tiny spark of hope that maybe V would find Evelyn, that she would call Judy back.</p><p>But hope had bitten Judy in the ass many times. Her juvenile jail sentence and Maiko are proof of that.</p><p>Her shift nears its end hours later, and she has a moment to herself. She runs over the meeting with V in her mind, noting how exhausted the merc looked, how hollow and broken like a shell of who she used to be. Something stirs inside of Judy, and she considers going easier on V next time she sees her. If she does.</p><p>When V does call less than a day later, Judy is in the middle of dressing down for bed. “I didn’t actually expect you to call.”</p><p>“I made a promise, didn’t I?” V looks puzzled and annoyed.</p><p>“Making and keeping one are two separate things.” Judy concedes that she may have to reevaluate her opinion of V. “So? Ev?”</p><p>V inhales. “Take a seat. You’re not going to like this.”</p><p>One shakedown of a creepy-ass doctor and a dive through a horrifying braindance later, Judy is driving V to a warehouse in the middle of nowhere so they can rip Evelyn from the Death’s Head. The last thing Judy wants is for Evelyn to be tortured to death on a BD and have it circulated throughout the city—an eternal dedication to how much she meant to those who paid for her death.</p><p>She glances over at V, who stares out the passenger side window. In the middle of their interrogation with Fingers, V had lunged forward and hurled the doctor to the ground so fast, Judy didn’t even blink before V’s fist cracked against his cheek.</p><p>Finger howled as V lifted him up again, voice going dangerously low, and Judy didn’t stop her when she shook the info out of him, nearly breaking his jaw in the process. Judy doesn’t blame her. Almost nearly did it herself if V hadn’t beaten her to it, and V didn’t need her help.</p><p>There was something dark and primal about the pure rage that emanated off of V, at the sheer fury that burns at how Fingers spoke of the girls he treated that in a strange way, Judy feels almost connected to her. As if they were kin in their outrage of the injustice of it all. </p><p>It had been hours since V called her, and they were driving to a strange facility in the early morning hours with darkness wrapped around them. Maybe it’s the exhaustion, but in the part of Judy squashed underneath her worry and fear for Evelyn lingers the observation that V looks incredibly sexy when she’s so in control, so dominant. So furious. And it bothers her because in a second, Judy became distracted from her goal of rescuing Evelyn to admire V in a clearly unprofessional way.</p><p>Fuck, what bad timing. </p><p>Judy tucks the thought away, waiting for a moment when she has time to examine it and what it means. She forces herself to focus on the drive ahead, going over the potential outcomes with V as the merc preps her, challenges Judy to think about what she should do in multiple possible scenarios. She’s a good planner, that’s for sure. Probably why she still has her head. </p><p>But a merc that good doesn’t work for free, and it makes Judy suspicious. “Why are you helping? There’s no money for you here.” </p><p>“I’ve got my reasons.” V checks her guns almost nonchalantly. </p><p>Reasons like getting revenge on Ev.</p><p>“What? You doing this out of the goodness of your heart? Something mercs are known for?”</p><p>V glances up, irritated. “We’re not all the same, you know.”</p><p>“I’ll believe it when I see.” Judy tenses her jaw, looking straight ahead. “Most of the ones I’ve met have the emotional range of a scrap and care only about the eddies.”</p><p>V leans back in her seat, exhaling. “You’re not totally wrong. Our time is limited, and the market is competitive. You have to claw for every single advantage you can get in Night City. You can’t afford to be picky about all of your gigs. On the other hand,” V tilts her head in thought, “your choices are sometimes the only things stopping you from being a thief, a scav, or something worse.</p><p>“Merc work isn’t for everyone. You can’t be emotionally attached to people or the mission, because you become a liability to yourself, your colleagues, and the gig. Emotions get people killed. Emotions make you make short-term decisions that end up with horrible long-term consequences. And yet, they are the only thing separating us from the bottom-feeders, those whose deaths would only benefit everyone around them. Once you go dead on the inside, it’s only a matter of time before the outside matches too.”</p><p>V runs a hand through her hair. “If you’re asking if I’m doing this out of pure idealism of how the world should be, my response is no. The simple answer is I’ve been to Clouds. I’ve talked to the dolls. And I know what it’s like when people see you as disposable rather than a person.” She sighs and rubs her forehead as if she had a headache. “What it’s like to be sold out and left for dead when you no longer serve your purpose. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.”</p><p>Judy drives in silence, stunned by the depth of thought V put into her answer. Curious too. She steals glances at her out of the corner of her eye as the other woman steadily stares out the window.</p><p>Maybe she is wrong about V. More thoughts to sort for later.</p><p>They make it to the building, and Judy has about five minutes to scan and sort through the floor plans when she hears the howl of gunfire, the screams bellowing from the fenced yard. </p><p>V was supposed to do surveillance.</p><p>Her throat seizes. Grabbing her pistol, she jumps out of her van, tapping her earpiece. “V? You all right?”</p><p>V’s voice comes back, husky, raw. Judy is starting to like that voice more than she should. “Yeah, just thought I should clear the way for us.”</p><p>When Judy sees the sheer carnage of the yard, the smell of burning corpses and the scattering of bullet-lined bodies throughout the grounds, she stares. Most of the faces, when they were recognizable, are twisted in terror and pain, frozen in their final horrible moments. These people did not die peacefully. Some didn’t even go in one piece.</p><p>She’s heard of V’s reputation, but it’s different to see the results firsthand, to know that seconds ago, these were living, breathing people with families and goals. She’s glad that V is on her side for now.</p><p>V gestures for her to follow, smoking shotgun still in her hands. “Come on. We don’t have time to waste.”</p><p>V tears through the building with Judy right behind her. Judy, impatient, nearly rushed around a corridor when V yanks her back. Hard. She slams her against the metal wall, and Judy nearly snarls when a scattershot of shotgun pellets obliterates the crate she nearly rounded. </p><p>Judy pales as V responds with quick, precise bursts of her rifle—the attacker howling in pain before going silent—before she turns on her, grabbing her wrist so tightly, Judy knows it is going to leave bruises. “This is my speciality, and if you don’t listen to me, I am going to leave you in the car. I am not dragging two bodies out of here, because you were too emotional to think before you got your head blown off. You go and stop on my command. Anything else, you get the fuck out of here right now. Understood?”</p><p>The BD editor nods, realizing that V is right, and she can’t rescue Evelyn if she’s dead herself. That, and it’s increasingly clear that while Judy isn’t bad with a gun herself, she has nowhere near the experience, explosiveness, tactical skills, and lightning-fast judgment V has. In fact, Judy would probably be dead by the first room she stepped into because she hadn’t planned ahead of how to defend herself effectively. The thought sobers her, and she follows closely behind V, paying careful attention to her directives.</p><p>As they go further into the facility, Judy watches the sheer force and cold professionalism with which V guns down scavs, the way she fluidly switches between her weapons, hand-to-hand combat, and good ol’ fashioned mines, depending on what she needs. What sticks with Judy the most are the expressions of grief and utter rage as they stumble upon scenes from the recording of the BDs—disemboweled girls, mutilated men, videos of children crying out in pain. It makes V more vicious in the next battles, fighting with a calculated fury that sends the gonks crying in terror, barking out bullshit to keep her away, but it never works. </p><p>Between those adrenaline-lined moments, V’s face drops into sorrow, horror, and in a flash of muzzle fire on the lowest level, Judy realizes in a sudden epiphany that V isn’t as simple as another psychopathic merc. But she is still an unknown factor—strange and raw and compassionate and untested. </p><p>Something about V shifts in Judy’s mind when they stand in front of the last unopened door in the basement.</p><p>She’s genuinely good at what she does.</p><p>“Killing is my job.” V shrugs when Judy points it out. “It’s what I get paid to do.” She takes her rifle from her shoulder where she rests it, eyes scanning for cameras, turrets, exits, and potential points of cover. “And I do it very well.”</p><p>Damn. “Maybe it should be your work slogan then: ‘Violence solves everything’.”</p><p>V winces before going quiet. “Jackie always joked that I should get an ad saying the V in my name stands for Violence.” She quickly turns away, placing a hand against the door. “Let’s rescue Evelyn before she becomes another Welles.”</p><p>They finally find her—broken, catatonic, and curled into herself behind the bed, gigantic bloodstain situated horribly on the nearby soiled mattress. A massive cable stems from her nape while blood is smeared down from her nostrils and mouth and around her battered face.</p><p>Judy squashes the fury and horror rising in her as she signals for V to hold on until she breaks the link of the BD’s recording. For a moment, when Judy calls out V to pull off the cable only on her command, she thinks she sees V’s hands tighten a second too early, and fear grips into her heart. That once again, she trusted the wrong person, and someone else got hurt because of it.</p><p>A second too long, and the moment passes. V waits and unplugs on her call before gently carrying Evelyn out, the latter shaking in her arms. She lays her just as carefully on Judy’s bed before heading out to give them some privacy. Once Judy cleans and calms down Evelyn, she scours her friend’s behaviour chip as V asks, and she nearly pops a vein at what she found. Her impression of V changes completely too.</p><p>V returns and hangs in the doorway of Judy’s bedroom. “Will she be okay?”</p><p>“I don’t know, but I know she’s safer here than anywhere else. I would have killed her myself if I didn’t feel so sorry for her.” Judy turns to examine V, noting the lack of fury she expected to see when the mercenary looks at Evelyn. Fuck, was she wrong about her. </p><p>She shakes her head and focuses on the memories she found in Evelyn’s head, getting V to sit down through the BDs she pulled from Evelyn, fury racing through her body at how much trouble Evelyn got herself into, how much she dragged V into this.</p><p>Evelyn never told her or V the whole truth about where she got the info and who hired her. The Voodoo Boys are some serious bad shit.</p><p>V goes quiet after the second BD and asks for privacy. Judy starts, having felt like she was getting into this mystery with V, only to realize there’s still a wall, and she’s reminded that trust needs to go both ways. She gets up and goes to the kitchen, waiting until V emerges, rubbing her temples in frustration. </p><p>Judy crosses her arms, leaning against her counter. “Wait, you got any ideas how to get in touch with the Voodoo Boys?”</p><p>“Why? Worried that I’ll give Evelyn up to them?” V’s eyes narrow. </p><p>“No, I didn’t trust you at first, but...well, if you wanted to get back at Evelyn, you woulda done it already.” </p><p>“So, why the worried look?”</p><p>Judy shifts, feeling strangely caught. “I just...I want it all to work out for you.” She clears her throat. “So...right. Thanks, V.” </p><p>“I’ll be in touch.” V tilts her head in that curious way of hers as her shoulders relax. “See you around, Judy.”</p><p>After V leaves, Judy examines the tiny thrill in her chest at the way V softly says goodbye. She curses the feeling and the way she hopes that V comes back—that she’ll see her again. Just when she got her friend back, when she needs her mind and energy to focus on Evelyn, her body had to—</p><p>Ugh, what a headache.</p><p>A week later, Judy sends V a quick text. Just to see if she was still alive.</p><p>Nothing else. No other reasons. Mercs have a short lifespan in this city. Judy’s just doing her duty as a friend to do her daily “Are-you-still-in-one-piece” check and—</p><p>V replies quickly, and Judy is relieved to see she’s around and working. And a little happier than she ought to be for just a new friend to respond.</p><p>She throws herself into watching Evelyn whenever she can, talking to her, coaxing her to eat and drink. Most times, Evelyn says nothing. Merely shies away from her touch, and Judy learns to refrain from getting too close. At some point, Judy swears she sees Evelyn turn her head slightly and whisper something like, “Let me go.” When Judy tries speaking with her, Evelyn falls silent once again, tears streaming from her eyes, though her expression doesn’t change.</p><p>Judy goes through the BDs she pulls from Evelyn in a desperate attempt to find something that would help. Instead, she find memories of Woodman, Evelyn’s boss, raping her repeatedly for three days while she was unconscious before he sold her to Fingers once he got bored.</p><p>Ending the BD session, Judy gingerly plucks her gear from her head before racing to vomit in the toilet. Acid burns in her throat, her mouth, and Judy tips to the floor once she finishes, tears tracking down her cheeks from more than just the effort. </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>Oh, Evelyn. </p><p>The memories stay seared into her brain, though Judy does her best to speak with Evelyn, to bring her back. When two weeks pass and she neither gets a response from Evelyn nor hears from V, the only other person who could somewhat understand what Evelyn went through, Judy sneaks away into her kitchen to at least resolve one of her problems.</p><p>Judy clears her throat after staring at her phone for ten minutes, having rewrote the possible ways the conversation could go in her head at least a dozen times. She doesn’t need to call V, but she wants to because… </p><p>“Fuck this,” she mutters, hitting the call button.</p><p>The phone rings a handful of times before V picks up, panting. “Hey, gonna have to call you back. Not the best time.”</p><p>A woman screams in the background, “Eat this, limp dicks!” An explosion. “Fuck you, Nash!”</p><p>Distantly, there’s a resounding roar and a shower of bullets. V’s back is against what looks like a rock wall, something dark smeared on her cheeks.</p><p>Judy pauses. “Sounds like you’re busy.”</p><p>The click of a sniper ammo cartridge popping out, and V’s gun appears in view. “Have some business to take care of for a potential partner.”</p><p>The other woman shouts again, “What the fuck, V? Call your lover afterwards!”</p><p>“Shut it, Panam!”</p><p>Judy feels her cheeks heat. “Yeah, catch you later.” She hangs up before V can respond, exhaling as she slides down the fridge. </p><p>That could have gone better, but at least she called. And V answered, even in the middle of a firefight. That alone helps a smile spread across Judy’s face even as she wraps her arms around her knees in a sitting position.</p><p>Goddamn, she has it bad. She didn’t even mention what she found regarding Evelyn. </p><p>Judy wishes she has someone else to talk to about everything she’s feeling, but considering that her closest friend other than Evelyn is a random merc she met weeks ago, she doesn’t have many options. Especially when said merc is part of the reason behind her emotional turmoil.</p><p>Sighing, she stands, deciding to take a walk to clear her head and give Evelyn some space. Maybe she’ll come to her senses when Judy’s gone.</p><p>“Hey, Ev,” Judy says quietly, looking into her own bedroom where Evelyn lies with her back turned to her. “I’m...heading out for a bit. Just an hour. Take a moment to myself. I’ll be back.”</p><p>When Evelyn doesn’t move, Judy sighs, “I’ll see you soon.” </p><p>Judy grabs her jacket and exits her apartment, walking along the highway with the sun starting to set in the sky. She exhales, going through everything in her head: Evelyn’s nearly comatose state, the memories of Woodman, the dealings at Clouds, these very annoying thoughts and feelings about a merc that should be dead.</p><p>Life is getting very bothersome, and Judy wonders how it’s getting so complicated when she tried so hard to stay under the radar. Definitely when Evelyn walked back into her life with V in tow. Something about them just screams like a bomb about to blow, and, yet, Judy went along with it anyway. Because she trusted Ev. And look at where it got them.</p><p>Judy shakes her head, hair scattering across her eyes. No. Brooding like that is useless for solving problems. V showed her that much with how quickly she focused on finding solutions when Judy only saw hopelessness as they searched for Evelyn. Coming up with a plan is better than giving up, even if it’s a half-baked one. Judy just had to help Evelyn improve and when that’s done, she can deal with her attraction later. She can focus on that at least.</p><p>When the sun starts to sink below the horizon, Judy turns and heads back, not expecting Evelyn to move much from the bed. </p><p>She has never been so wrong in her life.</p><p>Evelyn almost looks like she’s sleeping in the bathtub if not for the huge swaths of blood smeared along the porcelain and the walls, the precise cuts along her wrists, and the knife lying beside her. Judy staggers in, crying out, feeling for a pulse, but nothing answers her when her fingers press desperately along Evelyn’s neck. </p><p>She fucked up. Terribly.</p><p>She doesn’t know how long she sits there, crying, or when she grabs her phone. Only that she instantly finds V’s number without thinking. V looks concerned and tired, her vid screen showing her riding a motorcycle down some ramp. Must have just finished her last gig. “Everything okay?”</p><p>“No.” Judy closes her eyes. “Come. Just...come.”</p><p>Half an hour later, Judy hears V calling her through the door’s intercom. “In here?”</p><p>Judy exhales raggedly and lets her in. “Yeah.”</p><p>V lurches into the doorway of the washroom, looking absolutely exhausted. She goes silent before rushing forward. “Oh, fuck.”</p><p>“I left her for an hour.” Judy buries her face into her hands. “I didn’t think—I didn’t want—”</p><p>“Don’t blame yourself.” V’s voice is low, soothing.</p><p>Judy cries out, “ I should have known something was off.“</p><p>“It’s not your fault. You can’t watch her 24/7. She would have eventually found a way. She already decided.” V gently reaches out and lays a hand on Judy’s knee, her voice quiet. “I’ve also lost friends to circumstances beyond my control, to chance fucking me over. Blame the gig, blame the Death’s Head, Woodman, whoever you like. Just don’t blame yourself. You did everything you could.”</p><p>“And it wasn’t enough.” Judy spits, “This fucking city.”</p><p>V kneels besides Evelyn, making eye contact with Judy. “Tell me what you need me to do.”</p><p>Judy doesn’t remember the next hour or so, just some screaming at the police, laying Evelyn on her bed, and somehow ending up on the rooftop, bumming a smoke from V and brooding. The smoke rattles in her lungs, feeling comforting like the taste of a familiar poison. Judy wants nothing more than to turn back time, to have convinced Evelyn to give up on the heist, to tell her to get away from this city that eats at everything and everyone dear to Judy.</p><p>“Hey.” V’s voice breaks in through the dark clouds of her thoughts. She had been quiet since Judy requested silence after a brief discussion about what was found in Evelyn’s memories. “Anything I can do for you?”</p><p>“No, but sweet of you to ask. I—” Judy’s cut off when V leans over and opens her arms. “What?”</p><p>“Can I hug you?” V looks dead serious. “For me. Please.”</p><p>Judy’s pretty sure V don’t need no hug. She slides over anyway, gingerly folding herself into V’s embrace and resting her cheek against the crook of her neck. V smells of dirt and iron, sweat and the faint sweet odour of death. Closing her eyes, Judy turns into her warmth, her presence if only for a moment before pulling away. If she stays any longer, she might break. “Thanks.”</p><p>V nods, watching Judy retreat and cross her arms, blocking her out. “Holler on the holo if you need me.”</p><p>Judy keeps her gaze fixed in the distance as V gets up and leaves, thinking about how to arrange Evelyn’s funeral, who to invite. It’s better than dwelling on how even in death, the police don’t care about Evelyn, refusing to come until tomorrow, and she has to keep the body on ice. How her best friend will never open her eyes. How no one will give a shit, because she’s just another dead whore in the streets of the city.</p><p>The badges take their sweet time to come and process her death, taking a couple of days for them to release her body before Judy can bury her best friend. In the end, the funeral is a small affair, taking hardly an hour to plan and execute. </p><p>Only her and Tom, Evelyn’s coworker, attend the service in the Columbarian in North York. Tom looks as miserable as she feels, and they stand there silently under the grey smog of Night City, knowing it’s claimed another life and no one but them bothered to show up. It’s a slap in the face knowing that crime goes on, the sun still rises, and they’re burying Evelyn, a person who lived and dreamed and died, besides a man crying about his damn tortoise.</p><p>Tom eventually leaves, having to return to Clouds while Judy stares at Evelyn’s niche, a short inscription lit up in the memorial, something that Evelyn used to quote her about how acting needs to be bigger than life, how everything needs to be bigger.</p><p>The fact that Judy is now alone in mourning her says tons about the city.</p><p>No one else sees her as a person, just because she did sex work. No one saw how kind she was to Judy, how fiercely loyal and protective. How she cried when she kept getting rejected for acting work, how she became desperate when the ennies started running out. Judy would have let her stay, but Evelyn was proud, smart. Too much so. She thought she could beat the system.</p><p>Maybe that’s why Evelyn chose V. They were similar in that way.</p><p>Judy understands why she did what she did. If she couldn’t control anything else that happened to her, Evelyn could at least determine when she went. It was her right. Still, the sudden departure leaves a riptide of emotional devastation to everyone who knew and loved her, like a spiderweb of fracturing glass. And Judy still couldn’t blame her.</p><p>Hours after the short burial, she sends a text to V, keeping her in the loop before getting drunker than she ever has gotten before. When she sobers from her three day binge with the worst hangover ever, she finds a handful of missed messages from V</p><p>Judy doesn’t know what to make of V’s frequent texts and calls, as if checking in on her to make sure she doesn’t go the same way as Evelyn. She doesn’t answer them, and V stops trying after a while, leaving Judy in a strangely irritating silence, alone with her furious and painful thoughts. </p><p>Night City is a virus, a parasite. It takes the lives of everyone who tries to rise above it, and Judy needs to get out. Before that, she wants to try one last thing before she leaves Night City, to see if life here is salvageable, if there is something worth staying for. Could she at least make one change in this sea of corruption? Could she save one life?</p><p>The BD editor contacts V a couple of weeks after the funeral, this time with a plan to make sure Evelyn’s death isn’t repeated. To V’s credit, she agrees to accompany Judy despite the half-formed idea. Judy’s nerves are live wires as she waits outside Maiko’s doors, knowing that security could be called on them and gambling heavily that they won’t be shot full of holes before they could raise their hands to surrender. Worse, that Maiko would see through Judy and tear into her wounds and weak spots as she always does. The thought leaves Judy shaking.</p><p>“Hey.” V vaults through the window, landing without a sound, new clothes hanging from her frame. “You all right?”</p><p>“Yeah. Thanks for coming.” Judy paces around the door, pulling at her cigarette and gripping at her arm. She shifts from foot to foot, and V catches the movement. </p><p>“You seem like a bundle of nerves.”</p><p>Judy pauses. “I have half a mind to kill the bastards with my bare hands, so, yeah, I’m a little nervous.” </p><p>V tilts her head curiously, studying her. “Thinking about it and doing it are two different things,” she says softly.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah.” Judy stares down at her cigarette trembling between her fingers. “Are you ready to go in?”</p><p>Talking to Maiko always gets her agitated. It’s like watching a viper coiling up to strike you, like watching the ebbing of a tsunami only to know that it would come back and you can’t escape it. </p><p>Maiko does all the things Judy expects: pointing out the flaws in her plans, prodding at the areas Judy’s uncertain about, mentioning how unstable she’s always been. All the things she did when Judy was with her. All familiar tactics, and, yet, Judy has no defence against them, no words to counter Maiko’s dismissive confidence.</p><p>Inhaling, she glances over to V, who leans near the doorway, looking bored. Based on the gossip about her, V is anything but that. Probably already planning how to blow the room to bits should Judy’s plans go south. How to best extricate them both out. How to kill Maiko with a steel pipe and strangle security with a piano wire.</p><p>V meets her eyes, her posture lax, but her gaze wary. And yet, something about her softening expression eases the pressure in Judy’s chest just a little bit, like a beacon in the dark, the first breath of air after diving. She knows that if everything goes to hell in this moment, V would be beside her instantly, guns blazing. Her consistency in her violence is oddly soothing to the emotions warring inside of Judy.</p><p>A hand touches her face, and Judy starts, stepping back and slipping away from Maiko.</p><p>Maiko’s lips thin. “It’s only polite to look at the person you’re talking to.” Her eyes flicker toward V, and her mouth presses together tightly. “Why did you even stoop so low to bring a thug here?”</p><p>“I—” Judy’s words catch in her throat. She can’t defend herself, emotions spinning so wildly from her grasp that she can’t sort them out and what she’s feeling. She’s drowning. She’s panicking.</p><p>V’s voice cuts through the confusion in Judy’s head—strong, steady. “She has a proposal about Clouds. Might be good to hear her out and think about it.”</p><p>Judy looks up in gratitude even as V and Maiko lock gazes, tension flickering visibly between the two like purple lightning crackling through the air. Judy isn’t sure what’s happening between them, but V raises her chin incrementally and Maiko bristles for a brief moment before calming down. The Clouds boss takes a long drag of her cigarette and exhales. “Okay, let’s hear it.”</p><p>The negotiations do not go well, as Maiko dismisses their idea of taking over Clouds and kicking out the Tyger Claws as short-sighted and stupid. She does let slip when Evelyn’s boss may go on break, and they end up catching Woodman a few minutes later. </p><p>After leaving him burning on the maintenance room floor, Judy has to sit down or lean against something to catch her breath. She thought revenge would feel good, deserving. Instead, she feels worse, emptier with no rage to focus on. V seems to get it, holding out an arm without asking, and Judy takes it, stumbling into her as her lungs no longer want to cooperate with the air inside them. </p><p>V’s voice is soothing like a balm on a burn. Judy could fall asleep listening to it, hearing V resonating with how revenge never drives away the grief that remains. Nothing shortcuts that process, though V confesses that killing Woodman did cheer her up slightly.</p><p>They stay linked at the bottom of the Megabuilding stairs as Judy ponders over the next steps of her plan, having to rewrite it with something big to recruit Maiko to their side. V doesn’t move away, keeping her arm connected with Judy’s as if she understood how comforting it was to her to be close to V, to feel her warmth, her solid presence even if they weren’t speaking.</p><p>Until V’s phone rings. </p><p>With a sigh, Judy detaches herself and tells V she’ll be in touch. V nods as she walks away, flicking out her phone to answer someone named River.</p><p>Judy watches her, feeling something hot and tight claw at her chest at the smile on V’s face.</p><p>She turns away, muttering to herself that V isn’t hers. She’s a free woman.</p><p>And yet, the thought doesn’t seem to appease her.</p><p>The next day, Judy agonizes over the lines of texts she plans to send to V. Nothing extravagant or fancy. Just a simple check-in, an emoticon, and—</p><p>Judy mutters, “‘Have a fabulous day.’ Really? You couldn’t come off as more lame if you tried.”</p><p>She nearly drops her phone when V sends a quick “You too”, and, despite herself, a smile catches across Judy’s face.</p><p>“Maybe not so lame after all.”</p><p>She struts around a little more that day than she normally does and even manages to ignore Suzie’s snappy remarks at work with a cheerful wave. After she finishes her editing, a thought comes to her that makes her frown.</p><p>What she is asking of V is merc work, and V doesn’t have time to run free errands. It’s only fair if she pays her.</p><p>Later than night when she checks V’s rates, Judy stares at the screen before pushing herself away from the desk, calculating how many weeks of work it would cost to cover V’s invoices. Still, V has done exemplary work, proving her rep is well earned and justifiably requiring good compensation.</p><p>Judy is lucky she just stockpiles her earnings, because she’ll need a lot of it to pay V.</p><p>Another week passes, and she cobbles enough of a plan together and tests her reprogramming of the chip on Tom. When it’s proven successful, she calls Maiko first to arrange the meeting.</p><p>Maiko studies her over the vid screen after Judy lists who would be attending. “We don’t need the merc. We can handle it ourselves.”</p><p>Judy shakes her head furiously. She can’t put into words why she wants V there besides the fact that if shit went sideways, V would be the best person to get them out. “I don’t know if I can do this without her.”</p><p>Maiko’s lip curls. “You have me and my brain. Surely, we are enough for whatever the plan is.”</p><p>Judy’s hands clench. “Maiko, I want her there.” The force of her words surprises herself, much less the other woman whose eyes narrow dangerously. “It just feels better with her there. I know she’ll have my back.”</p><p>“Oh, Judy. Is that really why? You’re not pretending that it has something to do with the way you look at her? Don’t let things with your new girl screw this up,” Maiko scoffs before reaching over to hang up. “I’ll see you tonight.” Her words are laced with a sharpness that Judy has only ever seen when Evelyn was first introduced to her, though she’s not sure why.</p><p>She then calls V, who appears to be in the badlands somewhere with lots of bodies behind her, pistol smoking by her side. Is she always working? “Got a meeting tonight. Coming?”</p><p>After getting V’s pizza request, Judy checks over her chip program again as night falls, and Roxanne and Tom arrive. She hugs them both, thanking them for arriving, and they, in turn, are grateful that she’s doing something for the dolls of Clouds, for Ev. The pizzas arrive shortly afterward, and Judy finds herself checking the clock and her phone constantly. Maiko would be late as some sort of power play, but where is—</p><p>Judy finds V walking in with a cocked eyebrow. “You’re here.” She catches herself sounding a little breathless, and she coughs to cover it up. “Got your pizza.”</p><p>V nods and heads over to a stool, politely greeting Roxanne. She devours her food without another word, cramming in slices in two or three bites.</p><p>Damn, girl must be starving.</p><p>Judy starts when V turns her head to look over. “What the hell happened to your face?”</p><p>V shrugs. “Work.” She scratches at the huge gauze patch on one cheek. “What is this about?”</p><p>Judy reveals her programming with the dolls’ chips, which turn them into something like fighters. Both V and Maiko express skepticism that this will work, and the meeting ends with Tom throwing V into the couch as a demonstration of self-defence. Maiko nods, satisfied, while V sits up and holds her head as if it’ll burst. Judy kneels in front of her, putting a hand on V’s knee without thinking. </p><p>Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Maiko exhale and look away. </p><p>The meeting ends when Maiko leaves, taking Tom and Roxanne with her. V sits on the couch with her head lolling on the headrest, and Judy worries that she got thrown a little too hard.</p><p>When she finds out the truth, she wishes that was the case.</p><p>V is dying. The Relic is rewriting her neural circuits, and there’s no way to stop it. She’ll be gone in months, maybe weeks. And she’s been dealing with this alone all this time.</p><p>Judy recoils, shaking her head, not knowing what to say. She tells V that she looks tired, that she can stay as a way to stem to conversation, to buy time to think.</p><p>As if announcing her situation drains her, V falls asleep quickly on the couch while Judy sits nearby, wondering how many friends she would lose to a heist that was never worth it. Looking at the tiny furrow between her brows, the frown on her face, Judy wishes that V could get some peace, some resolution in her heart, and not just because V’s become a good ally.</p><p>Leaning over, Judy brushes hair out of V’s eyes, palming the curve of her cheek as the sleeping woman sighs. V is warm beneath her hand, eyelashes fluttering. She turns, nuzzling into Judy’s touch, which makes Judy’s stomach flip-flop like it’s tumbling down a hill. V even smells good when she’s clean, a light and pleasant scent that’s inviting like a warm fireplace.</p><p>And yet, in a handful of months, she will be obliterated from her body, not even a decade out of childhood. Like so many others, trying to chase some lofty dream in Night City, only to find it wanting. “You sure know how to pick them, Judy. Either an asshole or dying.”</p><p>And fuck, does she ever not want V to leave. Not after Evelyn.</p><p>Hesitating briefly, Judy leans over and presses a kiss to V’s brow, the latter turning towards her even in her sleep. She ignores how her voice shakes. “Take care of yourself, you idiot.”</p><p>She leaves V on the couch and heads to her bed, unable to sleep for the remainder of the night.</p><p>In the morning, before she heads out to work, she dashes out to the nearest diner and grabs a coffee and a snack for her guest. She leaves them on the counter along with a quick text before leaving. When she returns, V is gone but so is the coffee and the snack. There’s a short note on the counter in their place with a thanks from V in her customary terse style. A few hours later, V sends her another thank you message and a funny story from her day about how she bolted from a location on a thievery gig the moment she retrieved her target, subtlety be damned.</p><p>Throughout the next few days, Judy and V send a flurry of texts to each other, and Judy is unable to stop the smile that arrives whenever V responds. When she has a moment to breathe from work and she’s not texting V, she researches what she can on the biochip V stole.</p><p>The answer is not much.</p><p>“What the hell did you and Ev get yourself into, V?” Judy mutters, closing down another webpage and noticing that the sun’s starting to set across the sky. She hasn’t seen V for a week, and she hopes she’s doing okay, meaning still alive.</p><p>She rises from her desk to get something to eat when she hears her intercom go off, and V’s voice comes through. “Hey, sorry to arrive all of a sudden, but I was wondering if I could crash here again.”</p><p>Judy opens the door to see a bloodied V leaning heavily into her doorway with a weak smile on her face. “Hey, Jude.”</p><p>“V, what the fuck?” Judy hauls her toward the couch where the mercenary collapses. She rushes to grab her first aid kit out of the washroom and a towel to clean V’s face. “Give a girl a head’s up when you show up half-dead at her door.”</p><p>V chuckles, having managed to push herself into a sitting position. “You sound like Jackie. You two would have gotten along.”</p><p>Judy pauses, seeing the bags under V’s eyes, the slump in her shoulders. “Are you hurt?” When V shakes her head, Judy nods and gently pushes her against the couch. “Right. I’m going to clean your face so you don’t look like a corpse. Just chill for a bit.”</p><p>V nods. Her eyelashes flutter shut, and Judy hates that she keeps thinking about how pretty V’s eyes are when she’s up close. How every nerve in her body seems to light up like electricity just being near her. “I got them all. The ones who hacked Evelyn,” V murmurs. “Fucking Placide.”</p><p>Who? “The Voodoo boys?”</p><p>V nods tiredly. “Got every last one of them. They have a terrible habit of backstabbing people. Decided to teach them a lesson.” She slumps against the couch. “Don’t worry about them tracing me to you. I zig-zagged across the city before I came here.”</p><p>“Wait, hold on. You wiped out an entire gang? By yourself?”</p><p>“What can I say? I’m very good at my job.” V takes out her phone, hand oddly steady despite the trembling in her shoulders. “No requests. Good. I can rest.”</p><p>Placing her phone on the nearby table, she pulls out a cigarette from her case and reaches for her lighter.</p><p>Judy frowns. “I thought you didn’t smoke.”</p><p>V stops, cigarette halfway to her mouth. “I don’t.” She stares at the tiny stick in her hand. “But Johnny does.” She leans forwards, hands gripping her hair, cigarette falling to the ground. Her eyelids droop. “I’m so tired.”</p><p>Judy lays a hand on her chest, trying to not think about how her nerves alight when she touches her. “Sleep. You can come here whenever you need.”</p><p>V stares at her. “I arrived unannounced, covered in blood, and you just trust me like that?”</p><p>Judy shrugs. “Not the first time you showed up like that. Besides,” her voice softens, “I know you won’t hurt me.”</p><p>V processes the statement before she nods. Judy pushes her into her back, and V is out in an instant.</p><p>Once V passes out, Judy sighs. She gets up to grab a spare blanket when V’s phone rings, and a picture of a very attractive woman pops up—someone she doesn’t know. Something poisonous and hot seizes Judy’s senses, and she snatches the phone, smashing the answer button with a sudden viciousness. “Hello?”</p><p>The woman blinks in surprise. “Hey, is V there?” </p><p>“She’s sleeping.” Judy briefly shoves the phone screen over V’s prone form. “Who are you to her—“ She glances at the flashing name. “—Panam?” It sounds vaguely familiar. </p><p>Panam holds up her hands. “Whoa, hey. I’m just a friend checking up on her. Not trying to make any moves on your girl. Not my type anyway.”</p><p>“She’s not my—“ Judy realizes how possessive she sounds, and she straightens up, clearing her throat in embarrassment. “Sorry, it’s been stressful. What with some complicated situations at work and finding out that V’s…”</p><p>“Dying,” Panam finishes quietly. “She told you.”</p><p>Judy’s throat seizes. “You too?”</p><p>Panam nods, dropping her head into her hands. “After everything we went through, everything she did for me, she only told me because she passed out in front of me.”</p><p>Judy laughs mirthlessly. “I know the feeling.”</p><p>“I don’t want her to die. You don’t find friends in Night City. Not like V.” Panam looks at her desperately. “Do you have any idea how to help?”</p><p>“Wish I did.” Judy sits down on her table. “I want to keep her around too.”</p><p>Panam swears. “Tell V that if she flatlines on us, I’ll dig her up and kill her again myself. No offense if you want first dibs, all things considering.”</p><p>“That’s a little counterproductive, but I’ll pass the message along.” Judy shifts from side to side. “And…I should correct you. V and I aren’t a thing.” She clears her throat. “I’m Judy, by the way.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you.” Panam furrows her brows. “You two aren’t dating, but she’s at your place? Defenceless?”</p><p>Judy briefly explains how she got up to see a bloodied V at her door and the story she got about it.</p><p>Panam raises an eyebrow. “She guns down an entire gang and travels across the city just to visit you and sleep on your couch? If she just wants a place to take a nap, she has her own.” She smiles briefly. “That's not something you do with just a friend, especially not with V’s time. You seem pretty cool. Call me if anything gets worse. Take care of her. Oh, and tell her my offer is still on the table if she wants.”</p><p>She hangs up, and Judy’s left staring at V’s phone, feeling her heartbeat hammer in her ears. What offer? Is there something there? Should she take her shot?</p><p>No. Focus. Take care of the Clouds first and then...see how things go.</p><p>It’s nearly one in the morning when V wakes after a long, dead sleep and ends up inhaling half of the contents of Judy’s fridge. “Sorry.” She swallows a mouthful of instant ramen. “Starving.”</p><p>“I can tell.” Judy eyes the empty bowls stacked near V’s elbow. “Think I’m gonna have to order a few boxes of pizza. Least I can do for everything you’ve done for me.”</p><p>V shakes her head. “Seriously, you really don’t have to pay me. I did them all because I wanted to, because it was important to you.”</p><p>“I…thank you.” Judy leans against her counter as V glances up and smiles. Something draws her closer to the other woman, gaze flicking to her mouth. It might be Judy’s imagination, but V’s eyes seem to grow half-lidded whenever Judy nears and the latter can’t pretend that she’s pulling her punches with how she looks at V. If she stays over, Judy can guess how this will end.</p><p>But Judy isn’t looking for just a fuck.</p><p>Clearing her throat, she straightens up, and she swears she spots disappointment dart across V’s face. “Your friend Panam called. Said her offer still stands.”</p><p>V sighs, “I know. I just don’t want to involve her unless I have to.” </p><p>“She sounds like she cares about you. People like that are in short supply here,” Judy points out.</p><p>V blinks. “I wouldn’t say that exactly. While I wouldn’t say I’m the most popular person, I know I can count one at least one friend to have my back if it comes to it.” She reaches out and covers Judy’s hand. “Maybe more.”</p><p>“Uh…” Judy blushes before she recovers quickly, stepping back. “Before any of us could help you, we have to know what you’re shooting for? What do you want, V? Do you want to beat the system like Evelyn did? You know you can’t. Night City eats you up and sends you back as a corpse.”</p><p>V goes quiet for a long time. “When I came with Jackie, we wanted to be legends, to be immortalized in Night City’s history like a blazing star, to rise above the scum. I wanted to fuck every attractive person in the city—” Judy raises an eyebrow, and V shrugs in response. “—and to have everyone know our names. But you’re right. The city always wins. We went for our shot, and everyone got burnt as a result. I lost Jackie and my freedom. You lost Evelyn.” V exhales slowly, eyes faraway. “How this city takes and takes and takes.”</p><p>Judy closes her eyes, absorbing V’s words. “You can always leave. You don’t have to stay.”</p><p>V chuckles tonelessly. “It’s not that simple. I still have something to follow to the end, even if it may end badly. I have to move forward. I have to go on. If I don’t, what did Jackie and Evelyn die for?” </p><p>Judy studies V. Her voice comes out softly, “I never took you for a romantic.”</p><p>“Me? Nah, just practical. Really hoping for an easy solution that gets rid of my problem.” V sits back, running her fingers through her hair. “What about you? Why are you still here?”</p><p>Judy shrugs. “Not certain why myself.”</p><p>V cocks her head. “Looking for a reason to stay? Did you find one?”</p><p>“Not sure yet.” Judy looks away, flush creeping up her neck just as her blush fades. </p><p>V studies her silently before she stands. “I should go and let you rest if we’re hitting Clouds tomorrow.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Judy glances at her feet when neither she nor V move. “I’ll walk you out.”</p><p>V looks reluctant to leave. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”</p><p>Judy barely sleeps that night, and the next day when she sends V up the elevator to the penthouse alone, she feels her breath catching in her lungs, short as if she can’t get enough air. The shouts of Roxanne and Tom are enough to distract her, but she catches pieces of Maiko’s and V’s conversations, the hollering of the Tyger Claw bosses, Maiko’s hysterical screaming.</p><p>When V returns, bloodied and grim, she relays the news of everything that went down, and Judy’s cursing herself for not expecting Maiko to pull a power play. “I was such a fool to think that people would want to do good for the sake of it.”</p><p>V touches her shoulder. “No, you weren’t. There’s a difference between wishing people would do good and having faith that they will. There is nothing wrong with you for believing that there are others like you.” </p><p>Judy glances down at her hands, relaxing as V’s words sink in. “Like you. I know you want to do good. You don’t say it, but I know it.” Judy looks at her openly for the first since they met. Unguarded. Affectionate, not even bothering to hide the warmth she feels before she steps in to kiss V on the cheek and walks away, looking over her shoulder.</p><p>V looks stunned and reaches up to hold her cheek. She stares after Judy long after the latter leaves, and Judy can’t help the smile that comes on. She’s glad to know it’s not as one-sided as she thinks.</p><p>For a while, things seem to flourish at Clouds with its bosses removed. Tom calls everyday to chatter excitedly about the changes the dolls are making to gain more autonomy, more freedom. He stops after a few days, and Judy grows worried. </p><p>She finds out why when Roxanne calls instead a week later. The Tyger Claws returned with a vengeance, Roxanne barely managed to flee with her life, Clouds is shut down permanently. Tom is dead. Nothing’s changed.</p><p>Judy feels like an absolute failure. With the scattering of the dolls she meant to rescue, the death of the only person who cared for Evelyn as she did, she realizes she is done. There’s nothing left for her here. She needs to leave...but not before confirming one more thing. </p><p>She comes up with a perfect plan to use her talents to their utmost ability, a gift to leave V if things don’t go as she’d hoped, a way to say goodbye to her old home. Judy takes a few days to begin packing her clothes, her things, her gear into suitcases just in case. She cleans out the memories on her shelf, the robots she tinkers with, the poster of her electropunk bands. In the end, her place looks as bare as if no one had lived there, as if her grandparents never bought it for her. When she has stuffed away as much of her life as she could, she calls V to invite her out to a place far away from town. </p><p>Judy smiles at V’s face on the phone, her response. “Do I just have good timing, or are you always thinking of me?” She hears a woman cursing in the background and V trying to soothe her in response. She decides not to ask and concludes that she seems to always have terrible timing when calling V. “Listen, got a mission for you. Top secret. You’ll need a wetsuit.”</p><p>V looks intrigued, gesturing to someone that she’ll be a minute. The background is of fancy panelled wood, the kind you don’t see where Judy works. “Count me in, but you should know that I look great in one.” One corner of her mouth slowly curls up in that way Judy can already tell will drive her crazy. </p><p>“Believe it when I see it,” Judy fires back, her own smile appearing on her face. “What’s wrong?” She asks when V stops, gaping suddenly. “V?”</p><p>“Oh! Um…” V scratches furiously at her nape. “Is this a date?” Her voice cracks slightly.</p><p>Judy goes serious. “You’ll see. We’ll see. Catch you later, V.” She hangs up, amused at V’s flabbergasted expression. How cute. Big, bad, scary merc can’t handle a date invitation from a girl. Now, time to work. What size wetsuit should V wear? Hmmm.</p><p>V arrives shortly before sunset, riding in a motorcycle that Judy recognizes as her dead friend’s ride. It looks like it’s being well taken care of. “So, what’s all this about?”</p><p>Judy perks when V slides onto the hood of the van next to her, unable to stop her grin. “Hey, you look great.” </p><p>V raises an eyebrow. “Really? After all the shit we went through.”</p><p>“Well, factor that all in, and you look fucking amazing.” Judy isn’t even exaggerating. The fading light highlights V’s features in a way that seems to make her glow, seem more alive than ever. The flutters in Judy’s stomach explode into a full-out rebellion. “Come here. I’ll show you the surprise.” </p><p>Judy has to admit that V is right. She does look great in a wetsuit, and she sings like a talented rocker with that raspy voice of hers. Doesn’t help when they go diving and V is having a seizure and drowning in a church underwater though.</p><p>Judy freaks, grabs V by the waist. and starts swimming like all of Night City is on her ass.</p><p>She can’t afford to lose another friend. Or more. Or whatever V is to her.</p><p>Somehow, she manages to haul both of them onto the dock, hands scrabbling to pull down the zipper to V’s wetsuit to do chest compressions. “Fuck you, V. Better not die on me.” She slams her palms down hard to crack an ordinary woman’s sternum. But V is hardly your average person.</p><p>V coughs and wakes, which is good, cause Judy was not looking forward to calling Panam to kill V twice like she promised. Judy sits back, sobered by how terrified she was at the thought of losing V, at losing another friend. She can’t do it. Not now when she barely has anyone left. “Come on.” Judy reaches out a hand to pull her up. “Let’s get you inside.” When V gives her a puzzled expression, Judy adds, “I sure as hell don’t feel like driving back to the city after that. Let’s spend the night here.”</p><p>It doesn’t take much to convince V, who runs out to the generator while Judy’s trying to make coffee. But the thoughts about what happens to Clouds sneak in, and Judy finds herself sitting on the edge of the bathtub, stripped down out of her wetsuit and staring into the wall.</p><p>V sighs as she sits beside Judy, wrapping a warm arm around her shoulders. “What’s on your mind?” She listens as Judy pours her heart out about the fate of Clouds, of the people who helped them, how frustrated she was at herself for being unable to keep the thoughts out.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I wanted…” Judy leans in, focused on V’s mouth, when she stops a few inches away, hit with a thought that the other woman might not feel the same. She’s suddenly scared, more so than when she was charging into a dark warehouse to save Evelyn, when she helped kill Woodman down in the Clouds’ maintenance level. Scared that she completely misread the cues, and V is preparing to turn her down, that she only sees her as a friend. Scared that she’ll lose her only reason to stay. “I wanted it to be our day.”</p><p>V leans over and cups Judy’s cheek, eyes as intense as the first time they met. “It is.”</p><p>There’s no mistaking that look, and Judy’s floored with a flood of emotions when V allows her to stroke her face. </p><p>She takes V by the hand and leads her to bed. </p><p>Halfway through a flurry of messy kisses and pulling the wetsuit down V’s body, V’s phone rings, and before Judy could snarl at it, V hurls the damn thing away from them. Judy’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but V’s back and kissing her desperately and Judy falls into her, hands scrambling through her hair, over her body. Trying to pull themselves as close together as possible as if being apart is unbearable. </p><p>When Judy wakes, sunshine filters through the blinds behind them, and she turns her head to find V sleeping beside her, gloriously nude and looking better than she ever did in Judy’s imagination. </p><p>Eyes trailing down the beautiful curve of V’s hip, Judy reaches over to palm her cheek. She presses a soft kiss to her mouth, careful not to wake her, before peppering the rest of her face while V sighs in her sleep. She could kiss V all day and never get enough. She could spend all day talking with her, and she would still want to listen to her more.</p><p>Her imagination runs, and Judy thinks about how amazing it would be to wake up to V every morning, eat breakfast together, go diving in their free time or chilling, chatting, and making love as often they could throughout the day. Maybe they’ll ride through the NUSA together, visit Judy’s grandparents in Oregon, introduce V to them. It would be wonderful to have someone she could do that with, to build a life with together, though Judy would not say that aloud. Not now with the relationship still so fragile. But still, she hopes. </p><p>V’s phone rings on the floor beneath them. Judy sighs and picks it up, reading a text from someone named Vik who talks about the biochip, about his concern regarding the speed of which it’s overwriting her, and reality hits Judy like cold water poured over her head. </p><p>V won’t be around for much longer. </p><p>She might not want anything more than a fun night.</p><p>Judy slips out from the bed, donning a bra and a pair of shorts she fishes from the drawer before padding out to the kitchen and making coffee. She promised V some last night though she ended up giving something else. Still, Judy wanted it to be ready for whenever V wakes up so she could have some. That, and it gave her hands something to do while her thoughts chase themselves in a circle.</p><p>She carries the mugs down to the dock, sitting down gingerly on the old wood and watching the sun lazily travelling up into the blue skies. Everything around them is silent, peaceful. No mercs to shoot up, no dolls to rescue. Just Judy and all the time in the world to go over what happened. Over everything. </p><p>Judy stares out over the water, shivering slightly. She pulls out a cigarette and lights it, feeling herself calm down. Last night was not planned, but she can’t bring herself to regret it. Not when they made love so intensely, not when the feel of V’s mouth on hers still tingles on Judy’s lips.</p><p>Correction.</p><p>Judy made love. V might have just wanted a fuck. It’s possible. Judy had made terrible judgment calls with lovers before, but something about V feels different, more solid, more real.</p><p>Or is it just in her head? Given how little time V has left, would she even think it worth it to pursue something more between them? What if it’s just another pleasant distraction?</p><p>Her attention scatters when V emerges from the house and approaches her, looking like she just rolled right out of bed and scooped her clothes off of the floor. “Hey.” Her gaze zeroes in on the orange mug by Judy’s side. “My coffee.”</p><p>Judy pushes the drink over. “Here it is. Finally.”</p><p>V thanks her and sits down while Judy’s thoughts are racing against each other, bouncing off of her skull like an amped-up braindance. “Nice view, huh?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Judy turns to her suddenly. “What happened last night? What did it mean to you?”</p><p>V blinks, looking surprised. She sips her coffee as if trying to buy time. “Did you...forget?”</p><p>“You know what I mean. What does this mean for us?” Judy keeps her eyes on V, free hand clenching. Did V want her like Judy wants her? </p><p>Judy holds her breath as V takes a moment to answer, knowing that whether she stays or goes would be decided in the next few seconds, that V’s response would either build or break her heart. In the stretched out silence between them, Judy prepares to be rejected, to be told it’s only on her side once again.</p><p>“Uh...well, I was hoping...that it could be the start of something new,” V stammers, looking adorably awkward as fuck which is a side of her Judy has never seen before. Judy sharply inhales at her words and turns away, feeling her stomach swoop like she has just leaped off Arasaka tower, relief as palatable on her tongue like water to a thirsty man. “Unless you’re thinking something different.”</p><p>Judy nearly breaks out laughing. “You can be such a gonk sometimes. I had plans, V. Now, you’ve made me change them all.” If only for a few months, a handful of weeks. Still, she can’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. Guess she needs to go home and unpack her stuff. “Not that I mind. It was the outcome I was hoping for.” </p><p>V continues looking confused while Judy turns, gently taking V’s wrist and pressing it against her own. </p><p>Actions speak louder than words.</p><p>“There, you have access to my apartment now.” Judy smiles at V’s stunned expression. “You can come over anytime. Ignore the suitcases though.”</p><p>“Whoa, you sure? This is some serious shit.” V looks concerned.</p><p>Judy exhales and looks away. “Yeah, I was thinking to leave Night City, but guess I somehow found a reason to stay.”</p><p>And V, being V, goes, “It’s like that joke with the second date.”</p><p>“Fuck you. It was our first one.”</p><p>“Already did. And now, I’m moving in. What’s for the next one?”</p><p>Judy feels something in her belly flutter at V’s words. “Guess you’ll have to hang around and see.” Her expression turns somber. “No running off and getting so in over your head that you can’t get out. You can’t...you can’t be another Ev. I couldn’t take it.”</p><p>V’s expression softens. She reaches out to caress Judy’s cheek, and Judy turns into the touch, amazed at how something so simple from V calms her down. “I won’t. At least not in more junk than I already am in.” She glances down at her wrist. “I am curious about my new digs. Wanna head over right now?”</p><p>Judy shakes her head. “You can go ahead. I’ll be here for a while longer.”</p><p>“Sure.” V leans over and presses a kiss to Judy’s cheek, lips lingering against her skin. “I’ll catch you later.”</p><p>V walks away, looking over her shoulder back at her as if she never wants to take her eyes off of her, as if she couldn’t bear the thought. Judy watches her back in turn, heartbeat racing when V hops on her motorcycle and turns to salute her with a lame two-fingered gesture, and Judy returns it, unable to stop the stupid smile spreading helplessly across her face.</p><p>That idiot is hers. Absolutely hers. If only for a bit longer.</p><p>Judy smiles against her cigarette. </p><p>And what a hell of a girl.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'll write a part 2 whenever I finish the game.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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